"Hold" first and then serve

In order to persuade others, we might as well "flatter" him. The so-called "flattery" is not "blind flattery" or "random flattery". We should "flatter" according to the actual situation of the other party, because everyone has his own strengths and weaknesses.

During the Warring States period, the wall of the new city was built in South Korea, which was limited to 15 days. Minister Duan Qiao is in charge of the matter. One county delayed for two days, Duan Qiao arrested the person in charge of the county and imprisoned him. The official's son tried to save his father, so he found Zigao, the official in charge of the border, and asked him to plead for his father. Zigao agreed to it.

One day, after meeting Duan Qiao, Zi Gao didn't directly mention the story of Shi Ren. Instead, he climbed the wall with Duan Qiao and looked around deliberately. Then he said, "the wall is so beautiful. It's really a great credit. It's really admirable that the credit is so great and no one has been punished after the completion of the whole project. However, I heard that your excellency called an official in charge of the project in the county to review it. I don't think it's necessary. It's not surprising that the whole project has been built so well, and there is a small mistake. Why do you have to affect your credit for a small matter? "

Duan Qiao was very happy to see that Zigao spoke so much about his work. Then he heard that Zigao's opinion was reasonable, so he let the official go.

The reason why the official was able to be exempted was because of Zi Gao's plea. Zi Gao put a high hat on Duan Qiao, and then went on to discuss the subject. He got the gist of the matter, which was very impressive. In fact, most people have the psychology of accepting and rejecting differences, and they are easy to accept those who are in line with their own mind. Therefore, it is easy to succeed if we conform to the law of development of things and lobby skillfully.

Of course, "flattering" does not mean flattering or flattering. For others, ordinary people only see their weaknesses, but not their strengths. They think their weaknesses are very important, and their strengths are very ordinary. Therefore, they often feel that they just want to hold others. In fact, as long as you have the idea of "no one is perfect", forgive their weaknesses and value their strengths, there are many places to hold them! Therefore, to persuade others, you may as well find out his itch and praise him to heaven, so that he can not refuse your request while he is comfortable, so as to achieve your goal.