Don't be bound by principles

There is an old saying that "no rules, no circles". It shows the importance of principles. However, when we ask people to do things, there will be unpredictable situations at any time. When principles are dead and people are alive, we should combine principles with flexibility.

For example, there is a man who wants to find a job for his son who has just graduated from University, and his cousin works as a leader in an organization, so he wants to use his cousin's light to find a job for his son. After learning about his relatives' wishes, the cousin inspected his nephew and found that his nephew was really talented. Then he thought: should he not avoid his relatives, or should he avoid them? In fact, in this case, he can give his nephew a hand, because his nephew has the ability to help him. This is a principle of flexibility. As long as we can get a "double win and no lose" outcome, we can use what kind of posture we should use.

Life should be rich and colorful, and the interaction between people should not always be the kind of serious "adult to adult". In the process of doing things, there are three kinds of people who are obviously "unlovable": one is those who always want to show that they are superior to others, only play "parents", not "adults"; the other is those who always want others to worry about themselves, but never know that they should worry about others, only play "children", not "parents"; the other is the so-called "parents"“ People who are "pure rational" can only play "adults" but not "children". In order to ensure success and success in society, we should not let ourselves become the above three kinds of people.

In addition, it is not a good way to solve the problem to use "pressure" to force the opposite party to yield, to use "top" to force the other party to accommodate itself, or to "swallow one's anger" in order not to offend the other party. Paying attention to the art of "selection and induction" is to find a good way to solve the problem without pressure, pressure, submission and accommodation. But this requires a lot of flexibility, and it is difficult for people who only know how to do it.