i find myself not up to the honor accorded me
As a Chinese idiom, Pinyin is d ā ngzh ī y ǒ UKU ì, which means to bear a certain honor or title is not consistent with the facts and feel ashamed.
Idiom explanation
When: bear; shame: shame.
Idiom usage
Subject predicate; predicate; derogatory. example I only did a little good for you, but I was highly praised by my comrades. I really deserve it!
i find myself not up to the honor accorded me
have only a superficial understanding - lüè zhī pí máo
Search the intestines and moisten the kisses - sōu cháng rùn wěn
peerless or matchless bravery or valour - yǒng guàn sān jūn
wipe out a disgrace and avenge a grievance - xuě chǐ bào chóu