How to overcome vanity(ru he ke fu xu rong xin li )

In order to meet the psychological needs of the moment, some people try to get the attention of other people by various disguises. This kind of performance is vanity. In fact, it's wrong to socialize with this kind of psychology. It will not help you succeed in socializing, on the contrary, it will make you get the opposite effect. In a sense, vanity is not only an immature mentality, but also an unnatural performance. It seems to be able to satisfy oneself for a while, but its harmful influence is very far-reaching.

(1) Establish a correct concept of honor and Disgrace

We should have a correct understanding and attitude towards honor, status, gain and loss, and face. Everyone needs to have a certain honor and status, which is the need of psychology, so people should cherish and cherish the honor and status of themselves and others, but this pursuit must be consistent with the individual's social role and ability. Face is "indispensable and cannot be forced". If you "beat a swollen face to fill a fat man", pursue honor excessively and show yourself, your personality will be distorted. At the same time, we should treat failure and setback correctly. "Failure is the mother of success". We must sum up experience from failure and realize the true meaning from setback, so as to build self-confidence, self love, self-reliance and self-improvement, and eliminate vanity.

(2) Grasp the yardstick of comparison in social life

Social comparison is a common social psychology, but we should grasp the scale, direction, scope and degree of comparison in social life. In terms of direction, we should be more based on the comparison of social value rather than personal value, such as comparing the status, role and contribution of an individual in school and class, rather than only seeing the level of personal income and treatment; in terms of scope, we should be based on healthy rather than pathological comparison, such as comparing performance, energy and investment, rather than coveting fame and envy others' performance To a certain extent, we should grasp the measure of comparison from the perspective of personal strength, and those with general ability can not be compared with those with strong ability.

(3) Self psychological adjustment

If you have boasted, lied, envied and other behaviors, you can use the method of psychological training for self correction. That is, when the pathological behavior is about to appear or has already appeared, they impose certain self punishment on themselves, such as using the rubber band on the wrist to rebound themselves, in order to warn and intervene. Over time, vanity will gradually fade, but this method needs my superhuman perseverance and firm belief to work.

Chinese PinYin : Ru He Ke Fu Xu Rong Xin Li